yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
