I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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