gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
