She said her name was "party"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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