whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I wear drunk well.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
