my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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