so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
