Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize