Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
