Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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