She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
