so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
