you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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