we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
