so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
