i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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