I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
