A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
