went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
When are your genitals available?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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