Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
