At least make sure they are 18
Why
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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