We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
