Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
