im drinking this country out of the recession.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
