You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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