i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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