this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
