did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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