Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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