LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
