this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
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