He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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