don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize