have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
