dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
