Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
