IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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