I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
