my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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