1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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