wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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