That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
