I wanna passion pit in your ass
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
