you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
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