dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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