At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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