found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
