Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
