I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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