i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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