Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You're a waste of cheezeits
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
