Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
