are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
