I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Randomize
