420 ftw
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
