god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
