these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
